My Caucasion Sisters, It’s OK to Ask Me Why I Wear My Hair Natural

If anyone would have asked me a year and a half ago if I would ever wear my hair natural, I probably would have laughed in your face. I had relaxed my hair faithfully since the second grade, I am now over 40. So for over 30 years I had no idea what my natural curl pattern was or how easy/difficult it would be to manage without the aid of chemical processing. However, I was hooked and would fling my hair with the best of them. I enjoyed my med/long relaxed blowing in the wind hair. I have never been a fan of weaves, wigs or braids as a personal preference. So a relaxer and a wrap worked well for me. However as I got older my views on things shifted.

Once upon a time it was no big deal for me to add a rinse a splash of color or anything to spice up my look. Then I got my first gray hair. Once it came in I decided that I would no longer color my hair. My thought process on this was that I loved looking at the very few silver strands of gray that my 80 year old grandmother had in her hair. I thought if I am going to have it, I want it to be as pure and shiny as it could. Understanding that gray is harder to color and harder to purify once its stained i stopped with the colors and just let it go. That was stage one. Who knew I would have so much gray when I made that decision :).

The next stage came in two parts. Neither of them being an Afrocentric desire to reconnect to my African Heritage. I am an African American woman through and through so that never factored into it at any point. With these beautiful full lips relaxed or not there was never a chance of me hiding my heritage via alteration of physical appearance. Not to mention like anyone else my culture is important to me and it goes wherever I go. However what did speak to me were two thoughts that any woman, regardless of her color, could relate with. These reasons are also why I am not offended when asked about my choice in hair styles.

The first, my daughters. For years I had been perming my hair, some perms took well and other were mild forms of torture. I would hear my daughters all of whom are natural except the oldest (19) saying things like: “Mom I love your hair.” “Can I wear my hair like yours?” Then one day it dawned on me how much different the mark of beauty that I wanted for them was than the image I was putting in front of them. I thought if I believe that it is beautiful to have natural hair then it shouldn’t be beyond me to give it a try. Worst case scenario if I hate it I can press my hair or go back to a relaxer. Not to mention I’m certain my scalp could use a break from the burns, sores etc. See that’s not that different that any woman making the decision to not be hypocritical in the eye of their little girl. An unexpected bonus was, not only did my scalp get healthier but my face began to brighten up and become more radiant. I had really dry patches on my face and they went away as well. Whhhaaat! All worth it.

The second reason (and this ties to my daughters as well) was health. More and more studies are starting to show a link between uterine fibroids in African American women and the relaxers we use to straighten our hair. Think about how deep that goes. I started to think: My grandmother had fibroids and had to get a hysterectomy, my mother had fibroids and had the same fate. I have them as well and just can’t bring myself to do anything about them yet because I connect my uterus to so much of my femininity I want to keep it as long as I can. Yeah I know other procedures, but look at the research that is coming out about them. However, what if by presenting my daughters with myself as an example of how beautiful hair is naturally could prevent them from having the same issue? It would be so worth it, right? What if encouraging them to never put the chemicals in their hair I eliminated or even reduced the chances of them ever having a fibroid? Wouldn’t it be worth it?

As women, mothers, aunties, sisters doesn’t it make perfectly good sense as to why I along with other African American women are now making the choice to go with what God gave us instead of processing our hair? Think of it this way it’s the organic hair route versus the processed. Hopefully this will help someone not to assume when they see a lady with a natural coif what her motivations are. Or that she is any different than you in her choices to be healthier, to present a natural image of beauty to her daughters and to make strides towards ensuring her feminine health for herself and generations to come. In addition with the “Browning of america” a many women or other cultures are having little girls and might be faced with the question of relaxed or natural. I hope this sheds a little light on some of the reasons why I made my choice and the choice for my daughters. Perhaps it will help you with your decision as well.

So while I can not speak for any other woman or the level of comfort with questions regarding their hair choice. I can say that I welcome your questions and the ability to have an open dialogue about issues that effect any woman, our health and our daughters, regardless of race. Awareness increases understanding.

Oh and by the way, while I have not come up with the perfect styling techniques as of yet, I love my natural hair.


Ready, Set, Shop! Oh Wait! OK! Now you Can Shop Again! Lilly Pulitzer Line Crashes Target Site (Collection images)

While it seems as thought it is up and running now several online shoppers we extremely disappointed at 3:00 am. All set to shop and no site to shop on. The highly anticipated and heavily marketedlily2 #LillyforTarget colorful collaboration caused an influx of eager internet shoppers and the site crashed.

Target had this to say about the incedent on Facebook and Twitter: “We know you’re frustrated & we’re sorry. We appreciate your patience. You can now shop the ‪#‎LillyforTarget‬ collection.”

Looks like it is up and running now so you can get to shopping! Also you can go the more traditional route and hit the stores. Happy shopping!



Body Cameras Capture Shooting Death of Missouri Man Armed With Bible and Knife: Mother states son claimed to be starting a”Black Revolution” (Video and Transcript)

Warning the Video is from the BODY CAMERAS so it does have the sounds of Bullets being fired. Please use discretion and DO NOT Watch around young or impressionable people!

Thaddeus McCarroll, 23, was killed after he charged at police officers while brandishing a knife. The officers involved were wearing body cameras and the events were captured on the film.

McCarroll’s mother called the police after her son locked her out of their suburban home. Thaddeus McCarroll, was armed with a knife and had locked her out of her house in Jennings, Missouri, the St. Louis County Police Department said today.

Police stated that from outside they could see McCarroll through the window. That he was armed with a Samurai sword and several knives.

His mother told police that he “was talking about going on a ‘journey’ and a ‘mission’ and mentioned a “black revolution,'” according to police.

About an hour after officers arrived, McCarroll walked out of the house with a knife in one hand and a bible in the other, police said.

The ensuing encounter was captured on an officer’s body camera as police continuously asked McCarroll to drop the knife.

“Why are you carrying a knife?” an officer asked McCarroll. “Your mom is worried about you.”

An officer then told McCarroll they were “not here to harm you” after McCarroll replied.

“We need to know that you’re going to be okay, starting right now,” an officer said.

When McCarroll – with the knife still in his hand – walked toward the officers, one fired a “less lethal round” (A rubber bullet according to other sources)in an attempt to disarm him, police said. The round hit McCarroll, who then “immediately charged the officers at a full run with the knife still in hand,” police said.

Two officers shot McCarroll several times, police said. The sound of the gunshots was captured by the body camera, along with an officer calling for CPR and a medic.

McCarroll died outside the home.

“A family lost a loved one tonight and that is tragic,” St. Louis County Police Chief Jon Belmar said during a news conference Saturday.

“My officers took every precaution to safely resolve this situation, starting with over an hour long attempt at negotiations with the subject,” Belmar continued. “The officers resorted to less lethal force to try and bring the incident to a safe conclusion with no loss of life, but this individual made the decision to refuse these attempts, and charge at officers with a deadly weapon.”

An internal department is investigating the shooting. St. Louis County police said the officers involved were placed on administrative leave.

Below is the transcript from the incedent, transcribed by
Officers said they could see McCarroll through the residence’s windows, carrying several knives and a samurai sword. Police say attempts to speak with the subject and get him to come out of the residence failed.
A tactical unit was called at about 10:30 and took over the scene. After about an hour McCarroll came out of the residence. Police say he had a knife in one hand and a Bible in the other.
Police say he ignored commands to put down the knife and say as he got closer to officers, one fired a rubber bullet at him that they say was ineffective. Then, police say, he charged at officers at a full run.
“Fearing for their safety,” the statement says, two officers shot McCarroll multiple times. He died at the scene.
In body camera video footage (below) of the incident a police negotiator can be heard talking to McCarroll in the minutes before the shooting:
Negotiator – “Thaddeus, what do you need tonight to stop this?”
McCarroll – “I need you to leave now!”
Negotiator – “Why do you need me to leave? Your mom’s worried about you.”
McCarroll – “It’s too late for that now. I’m pissed!”
Negotiator – “What are you pissed off about, Thaddeus?”
McCarroll – “I’m pissed off because you guys won’t leave me alone.”
Negotiator – “Why are you carrying a knife, Thaddeus?”
McCarroll – “Because.”
Negotiator – “Thaddeus, do you know we are not here to harm you?”
McCarroll – “I don’t care.”
Negotiator – “Can you tell me a little about why this started? I have no idea. I’m just getting bits and pieces. Why did this start tonight?”
(no answer)
Negotiator – “Thaddeus, my name is Jason.”
Negotiator – “I want to know what’s going on because I’m going to have two stories tonight. Your mom’s telling me one story but I want to hear your story. I know you’re upset.”
McCarroll – “Back away from the house now!”
Negotiator – “Unfortunately we cannot do that tonight, Thaddeus. We need to know that you’re going to be okay starting right now.”
Thaddeus – (unintelligible)
Negotiator – “We will walk away from your house but first I want to know why you’re angry tonight.”
McCarroll – “Because you guys won’t leave.”
Negotiator – “Just because we won’t leave, Thaddeus, is not the reason why you’re angry. I need to know why you’re angry. Is it your mom? Is it you?”
A department spokesman told Missourinet additional footage could released after other cameras’ contents are downloaded and reviewed.

“This is another tragic situation where police officers had no other option than to use deadly force against an armed subject,” Chief Jon Belmar is quoted as saying in the statement. “A family lost a loved one tonight and that is tragic, there is no understating that.”
“My officers took every precaution to safely resolve this situation, starting with over an hour-long attempt at negotiations with the subject,” Belmar continued. “The officers resorted to less-lethal force to try and bring the incident to a safe conclusion with no loss of life, but this individual made the decision to refuse these attempts, and charge at officers with a deadly weapon.”

Again I say, I detest violence in any form. Its so sad that this s where we are. In addition, one other thing that I read is that it has not been confirmed whether or not McCarroll is black. There is an assumption that he is bc the Jennings neighborhood is predominately black however they have not confirmed that he is.

Prayers Going Up For Kareem Abdul Jabar (Announces Cancer Diagnosis)

If you are near or about my age basketball was Isaiah Thomas, Magic Johnson, Spud Webb, Dominique Wilkins, Michael Jordan and Kareem Abdul-Jabar. In case you aren’t sure Kareem Adbul-Jabar is the NBA’s all-time leading scorer, who won five championships with the Los Angeles Lakers before retiring in 1989. The later just announced his battle with cancer.

On Tuesday morning Abdul-Jabar (62) made a staggering announcement when he made public that he has been diagnosed with chronic myeloid leukemia. A current coach for the Lakers he had this to say, “Having lost one of my closest friends to a different, highly aggressive form of leukemia, I knew how serious my diagnosis was…My own life expectancy became a question mark.” He was diagnosed with CML in December 2008 and is being treated with a jabarmedicine that specifically targets the abnormal protein that causes his leukemia. The medicine should grant Abdul-Jabar a full, healthy and active life. I also pray that this medicine is affordable and available to others diagnosed with this sickness.

Always a private gentleman Abdul-Jabar became aware that others with the same disease were not keeping regular appointments nor were they taking their medicine properly. This caused him to jump into action and use his platform to deliver to them a very special message, that message simply delivered as thus. “I’m telling my story to encourage fellow patients to take charge of their health,” he said. “Work closely with your doctor, monitor your disease and, above all, take your medicine.”

James Corden and Jennifer Hudson – Carpool Karaoke (Video) Late Late Show

This is too funny, too cute and just too much.

Jennifer Hudson can outright sing anything and this video proves just that. Its a pleasure to watch her journey to success. It just goes to show you that no matter what people say, don’t give up. She looked as if she was genuinely chillin’ in the car with a friend having a good time. I know me and my friends have done the same thing WAYYY to many times. With the exception of stopping by and taking a picture next to our stars. Aside from that…well you get my point.

While I am not a big late night TV Fan, nor am I awake to watch most nights, this guy might have a new viewer if he is always this entertaining. Enjoy!

Yes…He hit the high notes.


I had my first daughter while in college. When it was time to start giving her table food a great friend of mine (Tasha) lovingly (HAHA) told me not to give my child jar food! That in her country they don’t use jar food and that I could choose better. She then explained to me how easy it was to make baby food from things I already had in my kitchen. Four children, six ice trays and one over used food processor later I still followed her advice. It really is very quick, simple, healthier and a WHOLE LOT CHEAPER. I’ve seen recipes online that add a whole lot of stuff and I never did that either, very basic and very pure is the rule I stuck with. If I never sad it, Thanks Tash.

However if you giving your children babyfood from a jar please read the following information from Beech-Nut regarding their recent recall.

Voluntary Recall Issued For Certain Jars of Classics Stage 2 Sweet Potato & Chicken

At Beech-Nut, we strive to make baby food with the best ingredients nature has to offer – freshly prepared and packaged in clean, safe and environmentally-friendly packaging. So, when any product of ours falls short of those standards, we take swift action to correct it.
We have initiated a voluntary recall for our Classics Stage 2 Sweet Potato & Chicken following a single reportmessybaby of a small glass piece found in a jar of the product. Outside of this single report, we have no indication that any other jar of our Classics Stage 2 Sweet Potato & Chicken is affected, but as a company of parents and families we are acting with an abundance of caution.
The quality and safety of our products is our number one priority. We know we have not met the expectations of parents who rely on Beech-Nut for quality nutrition for their babies and toddlers in this case, and for that we apologize.

How do I know if I’ve purchased the recalled product?
The recalled product is in a 4oz glass jar marked “DEC 2016” and includes product numbers “12395750815” through “12395750821” on the cap. It bears the establishment number “P-68A” inside the USDA mark of inspection.

How do I get a refund or replacement?
One of two ways: First, you can call us at (866) 674-4446. You also can return your recalled product to the store where you purchased it. If you have any concerns, we want to hear from you.
Are any other products affected?
No other production dates, jars or varieties of Beech-Nut products are affected by this recall.
What should I do if I think my baby has eaten the affected product?
Please consult with your medical professional if you believe your child has consumed the recalled product.
Should I throw away the recalled jars of Sweet Potato & Chicken I purchased, or should I send them to Beech-Nut?
We are encouraging our customers to return the recalled product to the store they purchased it from for a full-refund or exchange. You also can call us at (866) 674-4446 for a full refund.
– See more at:

Information pulled from the Beech-Nut website.
Be Safe and Be Blessed